Living with Billy has been one of the most amazing and best decisions that I’ve ever made. Not only do we have so much fun together, but we thrive off of each other’s energy! There’s nothing better than coming home to your best friend after a long / stressful day.
But, it wasn’t always this way. In our year+ of living together, there have definitely been learning curves and challenges along the way. I’m not here to paint you a picture of roses and daisies, I’m here to tell you the realities of living with your significant other. The other side to the cute home decor + dreamy moments. While it’s amazing, yes, there are also little things that people don’t warn you about.
So, today’s post is going to be all about three lessons that I’ve learned living with my boyfriend and the realities of living with your significant other.
I want to preface this post with a little reminder: everyone’s path is different. This is a really big lesson that I’ve had to learn in life (not just my outlook on relationships). Some people move in together after six months, some a year, some five years! Everyone’s realities, situations and journeys are different! No one better or more right than the others, just different!
Moving-In Together Lesson #1: Live Separate Lives Together.
Did that make sense? Basically what I’m saying is that you’ve gotta have your own passions / projects / interests / friends outside of each other and your relationship.
Why? Because you’re virtually spending every single day / moment at home with this person. You may lose sight / track of your own identity outside of the relationship. Having our own interests and projects outside of our relationship has been the most healthy and rewarding experience. Not only do we have our own lives together, but we have experiences outside of each other and can bounce ideas / stories off of one another.
For example, Billy is the most insanely driven person that I’ve ever met. He’s got a work ethic like none other – for those of you who don’t know, he runs his own company and has three employees that he has to balance / manage. I’m focused on my career and the City of Sisterly Love – together, we’re able to bounce ideas off of one another.
When he’s spending all weekend working, I’m spending the weekends shooting with fellow Philly bloggers or going to events. At night, we can come together and share time with one another.
The key here is to not lose your identity as to who you are outside of the relationship.
Moving-In Together Lesson #2: Divide and Conquer.
I’ll just be frank – Billy is not the household type. LOL! I’m serious though. I witnessed him put something in the laundry for the first time last weekend and I almost documented it. This was after he asked me “Is the washer the one on the bottom”.
Gotta love the guy! BUT, the key here is that this doesn’t bother me! For one, I enjoy cleaning (is that weird) – there’s something so therapeutic to it. I’m also the type where I want things done my way (yikes) so I’d rather just do them myself. Keeping a clean / happy home makes me feel good + it makes me feel good that I can do that for him as well.
HOWEVER, he does tons of things outside of cleaning / laundry that I appreciate. For example, he helps with the groceries and makes me coffee every morning.
When you move in with your significant other, you gotta dive and conquer the tasks / chores so that everyone’s happy. It’s not fair for one person to feel bent out of shape that they’re doing X, Y or Z. You’ve gotta communicate these things to your loved one!
Figure out what you genuinely enjoy or don’t mind doing, and do the same with your partner. Divide and conquer the tasks so that everyone is happy and feels like it’s a group effort!
Moving-In Together Lesson #3: Night Owl vs. Morning Person.
Okay, this may be a weird one, but bear with me.
When I was in high school I was a total night owl – sometimes I wouldn’t go to bed until like 3 AM. In college, that all changed… I became less of a night owl and more of a morning person. Now as an adult in my full-time job, I’ve become such a morning person and totally not a night owl. Sometimes I’m so exhausted when I get home that my bed looks appealing at 8PM.
HOWEVER, there are still nights when I’m flooded with creativity that I stay up working on a blog post or doing something on my computer. It’s been proven that creative people stay up later (muahaha) + that the creative juices start flowing as the night oil burns.
All of that being said, there have been times when I’ve been working at the desk in me and Billy’s room and he gets annoyed (rightfully so) because he’s trying to sleep while I’m typing away. BTW, I’m an extremely loud typer – seriously, everyone at work laughs at my fast yet loud typing abilities.
I didn’t even realize it at the time, but that was extremely selfish of me! To keep someone up just because I was lost in the zone of creativity. I could have easily moved out into the living room / kitchen to continue working.
Luckily, we’re on the same sleep / wake schedule (although Billy gets up at 4:45 AM and I for one do not, lol). BUT, we go to bed at the same time (almost) every night.
The lesson here is, figure out which one the other is: a night owl or a morning person. Communicate this and work your schedules accordingly!
If you’re about to move in with your beau, know that it’s most likely going to be the best decision that you make! BUT there will be learning curves / challenges along the way!
Lead with love, laughter + communication!