How To Shift How You Think About Competition

It’s time to get real, y’all. Let’s talk about the pesky, green-eyed monster. Competition.

Ahhh… Competition, the killer of mental freedom + happiness.

At the conference that Billy + I attended, I had such a big realization. One of the guest speakers – the coach to Gabriel Bernstein, spoke about competition.

But, before we talk about how to shift your perspective on competition… what exactly does it look like?

It may appear different for everyone. For me, it can look like comparison which quickly turns into self-doubt and self-criticism. You know, the “scrap it all” mentality. As in, “OMG, my content doesn’t look like hers and she’s so successful… I’ve gotta scrap it all and start over” This kind of plays into the Imitation Game that I wrote about a few days ago.

Anyways, having a competitive mind can be a benefit in some instances. A little healthy competition is good for something like a fitness challenge where you can hold each other accountable. For some people, they’re able to let it fuel them. They actually thrive on a little competition. However, at the end of the day, this can be wearing on the mind, body + soul for some people (me included). It can be exhausting to feel like you’ve always gotta “keep up” or “look beside you” at what other people in your field / circle / industry are doing.


But, the speaker said one of the most powerful statements that I’ve ever heard. She said something along the lines of, “There is so much work to be done. So, if someone wants to strap on the boots and dig in and do the work with me, I welcome them with open arms.” In her specific field, that work looks like personal development coaching. In your world, that may look like influencing women to step up to the plate and speak their own versions of truth.

Instead of looking at our competition as the enemy, let’s start looking at them as a community. Here with the City of Sisterly Love, I want to support women in every chapter of their life. From the college senior who’s overwhelmed and confused with what’s to come. For the young post-grad who’s adjusting to living on her own in a new city. I want this space to be a safe place for all of us to come and connect, share, + love. We’re all starving for connection, we want to feel: heard, seen, understood.

So, in order to support one another we need to create a safe space – just know that at this blog, there’s a seat at the table for everyone. There’s an admission ticket for everyone + no one gets left behind. As women, we need to hold each other up, not tear each other down. As emotional beings with motherly instincts, our bodies react to “danger” – always on the lookout for possible threats. It’s what we’re wired to do. But, it doesn’t need to be that way. There’s enough space here for everyone to share their own unique talents, gifts + messages with the world.

There is so much to be said + so many women who need US to inspire them. Motivate them. Shift them. Shake them. Change them.

So, in whatever way competition may look for you, let’s work together to shift the way we approach + think about competition.

All my love,





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